Comments on: The Inconvenient Truth of Personal Development

By: otiswoodard

otiswoodard — Fri, 15 Mar 2019 04:09:32 +0000

So wonderful to hear from you, Samantha! I’m glad you found something in this to inspire you. I can say this honestly and I can say it from the bottom of my heart:

If I can do this, you can, too.

Sara was teaching one time, and someone asked her in all earnestness, “How can I do it the way you just described having this type of difficult conversation? THAT would be AMAZING!”

Sara said, “Oh, that’s easy!”

And her client said, “Well, how then?”

And Sara looked at her gently for a moment and said…

“Be willing to get it wrong 100 times. The 101st time works like a charm.”

That is the way it is. We want to get all this right, perfectly, from the start, in the most difficult of circumstances. And we can’t, so we don’t start. It all comes down to one word that is also a complete sentence.

Start.

I wish you well, and I thank you for taking both the time to read and the time to comment. Be well!

By: otiswoodard

otiswoodard — Fri, 15 Mar 2019 04:02:04 +0000

Jan, your comment brings so much up for me! Congratulations on seeing your way through those conversations. It is so sometimes-crazy-hard, isn’t it? To be honest with family? Yet what does our dishonesty get us? Just more dysfunction, or the reification of the dysfunction already there. Not unconditional love, for sure.

I totally agree when you say “Sometimes I think it is just getting through these types of experiences as the “success” rather than saying the perfect thing.” I am totally convinced that it is the degree to which our heart is open and that our motive is pure that determines the outcome… far more than the words that are said.

Perfect words uttered by a closed heart, a “heart at war” will be received not for what was said but the energy behind what was said. Imperfect, faltering, struggling, disjointed words said with a heart at peace enable the other to receive what is being said for the spirit in which it is being said, and they can fill in all the gaps of our imperfect delivery with their own humanity.

Ah, and Sara. Where would we be without her? My wife, my best friend, my training partner, and a constant source of inspiration for her capacity to cut through my B.S. with alacrity… and compassion.

By: otiswoodard

otiswoodard — Fri, 15 Mar 2019 03:53:07 +0000

Cindy, thank you so much for your support and uplifting words. It is so interesting isn’t it, how we live our lives trying to hide our story, trying to hold ourselves out as something other than we are or have been. Yet there is so much healing in sharing it. It connects us with others. And it can inspire others to open up, be vulnerable, and open their hearts, too. I’ve had the pleasure of seeing you do this, and how it uplifts and inspires the people around you. Thanks for your kind comment, and for being out there, living all this in your own unique way. And for bringing it to others.

By: Samantha

Samantha — Sun, 17 Feb 2019 19:20:34 +0000

Oh, Otis, this hits home. That territory of discomfort is so unnerving and that thought, “This is just not worth it” is so loud. I am going to keep all of this in mind. And revisit this article to give me courage to revisit a future blunder. (Or to address it in the moment.)

By: Jan Cain

Jan Cain — Sat, 16 Feb 2019 23:16:51 +0000

Otis, thank you so much for sharing this deep, personal experience and being vulnerable for the benefit of all. I, too, have viseral response when giving feedback due to past experience with family members. Sometimes I can do it, no problem, and sometimes my body screams fight, flight, freeze. I had two recent experiences and I got through both of them intact, one with the help of your dear wife. Sometimes I think it is just getting through these types of experiences as the “success” rather than saying the perfect thing.
Thanks again for sharing. I appreciate you very much. Jan

By: Cindy

Cindy — Sat, 16 Feb 2019 01:03:03 +0000

This is an incredible insightful writing. I can see so many things that parallel my own journey, and it gives me much inspiration. Thanks for having the courage to share your story so publicly! You have much admiration and respect from me, and my life is so much richer because of your contributions to it!