Personal Development

What is personal development, really?

And why is it worth doing, even though it is very challenging?

I woke up in the middle of the night this week, and I wrote this down. In 646 words, I’ll give it to you. It starts with this one key point…

[Read more…] about Personal Development, In Essence

“Why didn’t someone tell me this, like, 20 years ago?!” said Michelle, a Senior VP of HR. We were in a workshop, and she had just seen me walk through what I call “the belief in self diagram.” This one diagram goes a long way in explaining some of the most important things we need to understand (and don’t) to be happy, healthy, and highly effective. Things like:

• Where the recurring challenges of our lives come from
• What drives results
• The source of our behaviors
• How our early childhood experiences and meaning-making affect our view of the world (how we “assemble” reality)
• The lynchpin role belief in self plays in all this
• How to build belief in self, and
• Why it is hard (but not complicated) to do so.

The belief in self diagram is probably one of the most important frameworks I’ve developed. With the help of others, of course. I come back to it again and again. In this article, I’ll focus in on one aspect of the diagram. The bottom box labeled Belief in Self.

[Read more…] about The Life-Changing Power of Belief in Self

Have you ever really thought about why we need personal development in the first place? I’m having an incredible time working with a group of 12 people, bringing them into personal development in a way that is new to me, more organic. I’m like a kid at Christmas. I worked with them last week in San Antonio, and as I flew home on Friday two things emerged so clearly in my mind. I said to myself, “Here is what I know. Two things…”

Funny, I knew that would be the title of this week’s blog post, “Here Is What I Know.” I can’t wait to share these two things with you because I think understanding both might help you along your personal development journey. Here goes. Here is the first thing I know.

Fundamentally, we all want the same thing, don’t we? We all share one desire…

[Read more…] about Here Is What I Know

Alan was sitting there, wide-open, vulnerable, and hurting. He had just shared with four of his peers that he’d been moved laterally at work. Again. He was holding a stiff upper lip, as much as possible. But it was clear to all of us that he was hurting.

This was in a peer development group, a group of 5 people who meet for two hours twice a month to support one another in their personal development. And this was important because, in a typical group situation, one of the following things would occur:

• Alan would have said nothing at all and would suffer in silence.
• There would have been an awkward silence, and someone would deftly change the subject.
• Alan would have been met with empathy or sympathy to make him feel better.
• Suggestions would be made about how Alan might “fix” this problem.
• The group would have commiserated with Alan, supporting a “victim” identity.

None of these things happened. Something else did. You see, the purpose of the group is quite different from a typical group. Here’s what happened for Alan…

[Read more…] about Why You Need a Framework for Personal Development

Personal development — if it is to be effective — requires a strategy. A process. A way to get from here to there.

If you can’t describe what you are doing as a process, you don’t know what you are doing.” — W. Edwards Deming

In this article, my purpose is threefold. I will show you:

1. What a workable strategy looks like.
2. That a workable strategy includes peer support.
3. Why you need a strategy.

Let’s do this…

[Read more…] about A Workable Strategy for Personal Development

I’ve noticed seven ingredients are present in healthy, happy, highly productive relationships:

1. Deep Trust
2. Productive Conflict
3. Solid Commitment
4. Strong Accountability
5. Stellar Results or Outcomes
6. Meaning and Purpose

(I wrote about these six in my prior post here.)

I’d guess many people would agree these are great things to have present in a relationship. Yet so often these six things are not present, not in balance and not in high doses, or not consistent. They are intuitively obvious to a degree, yet since they are so often not abundantly and consistently present something must be amiss. What might that be?

[Read more…] about The Empowerment of Compassion x Skill with Emotions

I’d like to share seven ways to expand your ability to become the biggest and best version of yourself. Seven interconnected and interdependent ways to become healthier, happier, and highly effective. When you transform yourself, you transform your life.

The seven ways are:

1. Deepen Connection and Trust

2. Engage in Productive Conflict

3. Strengthen and Hold Your Focus

4. Practice Radical Candor

5. Mind Your Results and Impact

6. Infuse Meaning and Purpose into All You Do

7. Take Time to Reflect

Let’s unpack these a bit and talk about why these seven ways are powerful.

[Read more…] about Seven Powerful Ways to Grow Yourself and Transform Your Life

Personal development is the process of gaining self-knowledge and achieving, accomplishing, or experiencing some desired, intentional result.

If this statement doesn’t make sense to you now, I hope it is more clear by the end of this article.

For me, this has been a 3 week period of expanding my self-knowledge. It hasn’t been pretty. It’s been messy and hard, actually. And I’d like to tell you about it.

Before I do, there is some groundwork to attend to.

[Read more…] about The Inconvenient Truth of Personal Development

It was one of those moments where you find your palm clapping up against your forehead. When an evasive, niggling feeling that something is off pivots into a blinding flash of the obvious.

I was sitting in a Situational Workshop (SW). An SW is a twice-monthly meeting where six peers—a cohort—come together for 2 hours to support one another in their personal development. I was observing this one, the 14th and final one of the week. Literally, the 27th hour. I was bored out of my mind, and here’s why…

[Read more…] about Self-Knowledge Means Doing This

My post last week on Seven Powerful Questions – Personal Development Made Practical triggered some great feedback. Let’s take what some of you have asked and commented on, and make those seven questions clearer and more powerful. [Read more…] about Bridging Insight Into Action